Freedom

Tango, originally uploaded by Shabok

My sister-in-law is coming over tomorrow to babysit for a couple of hours. Ashley is now five weeks old and this is the first time we will be alone without her. It is a much-appreciated opportunity to relax and reconnect with my wife.

Even though Ashley has been a good baby, the past few weeks have been intense, as I'm sure is the case for any new parents. We're both stressed out, and I miss my wife!

You know what they say, it takes two to tango and three's a crowd. Now it's just the two of us for a little while. We can dance passionately again, or we could go out to eat at a real restaurant, or hang out a bookstore. No matter how we spend the (very brief) time away, I look forward to simply enjoying each others' company like we used to do.

Commandments

my happy place, originally uploaded by pstarr

Do you want to be happy? Gretchen at The Happiness Project recommends practical methods for capturing happiness in daily life. One of these is the concept of personal "commandments," a list of basic, high-level rules that you voluntarily choose to follow. They are, as Gretchen puts it, "precepts that I want to guide my actions and thoughts."

Here are my eight commandments, not necessarily for happiness only, but for life in general:

1. Love God.
2. Love others.
3. Take time to listen.
4. Live now.
5. Calm down.
6. Create.
7. Go outside.
8. Simplify.
   

I might go into more detail on some or all of these in the future. If you think that such a list--or at least the exercise of creating one--might be useful to you, here are six tips for designing your own happiness commandments.

Smiler

7-31-05 Happyface, originally uploaded by Artbandito

She smiled at me!

Of course Ashely had a few baby gas moments that would curl the ends of her lips in a pseudo-grin while her eyes stared vacantly into space. Those were cute, but very brief and random. Then, one day when she was around 3 1/2 weeks old, she started actually smiling at us. For reals. I'm talking eye contact, open mouthed, reactive smiles.

This is something new. Interacting with a newborn isn't very rewarding socially, unless you love the sound of your own voice. Now we're entering the 2-way street of communication.

I'm always happy to see my family after a long day at the office, of course. But now I can come home from work, smile at my daughter, and she smiles back. And that makes all the difference in the world.

Oinker

(.) (.), originally uploaded by theshanghaieye

Our baby is noisy now. Sometimes Ashley makes a sound just like a little piglet rooting around. Although my wife doesn't like comparisons to barnyard animals, I mean it in a good way. I think her grunting is cute. As is the loud slurping when she's sucking on something. The crying and screaming? Not so cute.

She was so quiet at first. Every day, the volume knob is turned a little higher, and she expands her verbal repertoire. This one is my favorite. She gathers all her energy with a noise that sounds like an impending sneeze, but culminates in a belted-out coo. "rrrnnngGUHHH!" All the while with a surprised look on her wide-open eyes.

I doubt there's any conscious intent behind it, and yet, it almost sounds like she's trying to communicate through sheer force of will. Especially when she stares at me like that. Soon enough, little critter, soon enough.

Mantra

Meditation, originally uploaded by Robot Monster

גם זה יעבור
"This too shall pass."

It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!

-Senator Abraham Lincoln, 1859

I have repeated this useful phrase for many years. It does not only help during the bad times; mindfulness of impermanence also ennobles the great transcendental experiences of life. Be conscious of temporary blessings. Fully enjoy this moment, for it will never return.

Daddy Drinks: Moscow Mule

Okay, so you made a batch of ginger beer, and your guests are getting weary of the Dark and Stormy every time they come to visit. Here's another cocktail you can mix up with your homebrew for a bit of variety.

Moscow Mule (pour over ice):

• 1 part vodka
• 1 part lime juice
• 3 parts ginger beer
• dash Angostura Bitters

The Moscow Mule gets its name from the "kick" of ginger, plus the fact that it's built on vodka, a traditionally Russian liquor. And speaking of tradition, it was originally served in a copper mug. You can buy one of these specialty flagons if you want to serve the drink properly, but they cost a ... pretty penny?

GO

Subaru Impreza WRC - 2007 Portugal, originally uploaded by pedro vidigal

Ashley loves to move. When she is crying for no reason--i.e. she doesn't need to eat, sleep, or be changed-- there are a few ways to console her. Swaddling, shushing, and laying her on her side have worked wonders. But the most consistently effective method is simply to pick her up and move her around.

She's unlikely to make a fuss as long as she's going somewhere. This is true whether I'm carrying her while doing chores around the house, going for a walk outside, or strapping her into the car seat for a ride. Start the engine, and the crying stops.

I'm so proud. Besides the uncanny physical resemblance, this is the first evidence I can cite as proof that she has inherited something from her father. Exhibit A: both dad and baby are happy when they're on the go. No sitting still for this daughter of a motorcycle-riding, international-traveling man!