Support

Support, originally uploaded by Andreas Reinhold

My wife is normally super-competent at getting stuff done around the house, so I'm only marginally aware of her contributions. I'll notice a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, for example, and the next time I walk through the kitchen they're all cleaned and back in the cupboards.

Then she got pregnant. I knew that things would change, but what I didn't know was how many things I take for granted. When she started feeling tired and sick, and suddenly the chores didn't get done, I was caught somewhat off guard. In turn, she is surprised when I actually wash the dishes or cook a meal.

I don't mind taking more responsibility for these things. It's just that there are unspoken agreements in our marriage about who does what, and she had accepted most of the "maid" duties.* It's all stuff that I did without a second thought in college, but not in our marriage, so I get bonus points for doing it now. It's a good arrangement.

*My job description includes giving back rubs, killing scary bugs, and taking out the damn dog at 6:00 in the morning.