Is your newborn being picked on? Bully in the nursery? Buy her a set of natural knuckle dusters--made from locally-harvested cherry--so she can hold her own in hand-to-hand combat. Carved from a single piece of wood, so the force of her punches is delivered across a solid surface. Plus, it won't be identified by metal detectors, so it is easier to conceal than other weapons designed for babies.
Seen at Peapods, our local infant self-defense store.